Before Choice Theory, I used to believe that what others did or said was the cause of my hurt and that I could do little about this. Since doing the Choice Theory workshop and reading several books by William Glasser, I now see this differently.
Today, I am more inclined to recognize that I am not a victim of another or a situation, and therefore, tend to take responsibility for my perception and for the emotions I experience and then the action I choose in response.
What I have learned from Choice Theory is that I perceive the real world through my perceptual filters (made up of sensory, total knowledge and value systems) I then compare my quality world with my perceived world, if they match then I experience feelings of satisfaction, happiness, contentment etc. and am not motivated to change, this is because my needs and wants are being satisfied.
Should my perceived world not match my quality world, then I have an urge to “behave” in an attempt to get my needs/wants satisfied. My behavior is made up of four components, feeling, physiology, thinking and acting and I can be doing all four or, if I am spinning my wheels, I am stuck in feeling and need to take action in order to change the feeling. By learning that this is how the brain works, I have been able to achieve this growth.