Thursday, November 18, 2010

How one guy made the choice against alcoholism

What happened on the way to the grand old Oprey

Floods had destroyed the Grand Old Oprey. It was being re-invented although many said it couldn’t be done. And on my way to the new venue I found out that people are always re-inventing themselves. Bill Glasser and his Choice Theory came to mind again.

Getting a lift from the Choice Theory Conference to the Grand Old Oprey, the chauffeur driver quizzed me.

He said: “I’ve been looking at a book from your bookstore at the conference on CT and alcoholism.” He asked: “Do you believe alcoholism is a disease?”

I replied “No I don’t. Choice Theory would say the consumption of alcohol is a choice

You choose to buy the alcohol, you choose to pour it down your throat, and you are not controlled by some mysterious brain disease.”

The taxi driver said, “This goes against modern medical and psychiatric beliefs because everyone says alcoholism is a disease!”

I explained to him that Choice Theory says that we choose all we do in order to get what we want. A person might choose alcohol to deal with a difficulty in their lives and it becomes a habit. There is one thing you can do, “Stop drinking!”

He shook his head. I said to him, “Tell me your story.”

He replied, “When I came back from Vietnam, I was an alcoholic. I married and got on with my life. It seemed to be working for me until one day my wife said to me “If you continue drinking, the children and I will be leaving”.I stopped drinking that day and I have never drunk since. I own a fleet of hire cars and run a successful business.”

I asked him, “How did you stop?”

He said, ”I just did it”

I asked, “How did you do it? Were there any withdrawal symptoms?”

“For a few days but I didn’t pay much attention to them.” “What kept you on the straight and narrow?” I enquired. “I decided that my wife and family were more important than drinking. It’s as simple as that.”

I said, “That is great. That really demonstrates what we teach in Choice Theory. We choose all we do because it is the best choice we can make at the time. When you realised the consequences of your decision to continue drinking you chose a more satisfying option!”

I mentioned to him that in Dr. Glasser’s book “Positive Addiction” he says that we need to replace negatively addictive behaviours with more positive ones.

He nodded, “I chose my wife, my family and my business. But most of all, I chose myself.”

And I had had a great night at the Grand Old Oprey, in more ways than one.

A real life experience from Ivan Honey, Psychologist, Senior Faculty WGI-Aust. with assistance from Gary Garnaut.

In his spare time Ivan embraces the beauty of our natural world and can be found bushwalking or biking around his home town of Bendigo. He also loves spending time with his ever increasing family and grandchildren meeting his ‘Fun’ & ‘Love and Belonging’ needs. Ivan’s preferred mode of transport is his VW Volkswagen bus which was much of his inspiration for the Cars’R'Us Cards.

For more information visit

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Nancy Snow on the value of Choice Theory in relationships

From the Hunter Valley, Nancy discusses how Choice Theory can serve as a tool for simply making one's life better

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Gentle Way

Life is about solving problems - making decisions on a minute by minute basis in the hope of shortening the distance between what we have and what we want: the difference between our resources and our desires. On the one hand there are all the things we want – material, intellectual, emotional and spiritual - which we believe will give us happiness. On the other hand there are the givens - the stress, the work hours, the debt, depression, and disappointing relationships. Choice Theory provides us with both a map and the skills to navigate the life challenges to best meet our desires. It is a grounded, logical way to understand the how and why we behave to lead to more effective control of our lives.

It is an unconditional, non-judgemental and compassionate way of viewing ourselves in the world. As we learn to take responsibility for our own lives we become more compassionate towards others and their life choices. Being aware of the choices, we can open multiple pathways to transcend the limiting beliefs of external control. A loving, spiritual life to transform the crappy side to a happiness..

Di Childs
Dorothy Devine
John Cooper

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Last night I finished a basic practicum with a group of 8 professionals (lawyers, teachers, principals, pastoral care workers). There were 2 final presentations that demonstrated just how deeply integrated Choice Theory has become for them. I'll post up some video links soon. But here's what some of them had to say...

"...the practicum is very useful in deepening understanding especially when working with aggressive clients in gaining better knowledge of how not to use external control..."


"...the practicum was a fantastic experience. It has enabled me to internalise the theory, reality therapy & lead management to a point where I now feel more confident using this material."

Couldn't ask for more than that as their supervisor!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Choice Theory as a Business Coach

Another of our "one minute" grabs on what Choice Theory means to me...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Dr Glasser Interview from 1998

This is a nice little interview that a "tweet buddy" helped me find:

Saturday, November 6, 2010

An example of why I love being a Choice Theory Reality Therapy counsellor

After 17 years of chronic depression’ June’ arrived at my office on pleading recommendations from her family who knew me. Allergic to antidepressants and a prisoner in her own home, June had not washed her kitchen floor for 3 years, lived her life on the web as was suffering a broken heart from a failed web relationship.

Instead of focusing on what led to the depression, I said, “ Let’s focus on if you could have life the way you want it and be in your life in the way you want, how would that be? June went for gold and literally started to physically and emotionally sparkle. In one hour she stated her goals and aims, her desires to let go of the failed relationships and her desire to reconnect with her sons. June attended 5 sessions only. From session one to five, her whole life changed. Seeing her gold picture for the first time she raced ahead of sessions realising goals, making connections, mending 17 years of damage. Her sons had waited their whole lives for this moment and they grabbed it. She took her sons on a family holidays, she attended her son’s 21st birthday, and even began a new relationship with someone she met on the internet and continued that face to face. June died as a result of an accident before her sixth session. However, her family who all thought she was a loser and chronically unable to be helped, discovered that June was connected to literally thousands of people over the world who she had supported in their depression and isolation. Her oldest son made a web page and two years later people still click on and add to the blog of how June helped them.

June’s biggest loss to herself was that for over 20 years she couldn’t connect but prior to her death she completely turned it around beyond what either of us could have ever thought possible. Junes changed her life because for the first time a therapist focused on at her quality world picture and assisted her to self assess her actions and create a new life. Via understanding her basic needs and her choices through learning about Choice Theory, this was made possible.

Kalikamurti Suich

A Simpler Life with Choice Theory

We were here on Sunday November 7

Friday, November 5, 2010

We're here

Today is the first day of the WGIA marketing operations subcommittee. I'll just call it MOS.
Marketing in not a dirty word, nor is it a mystical process where a "guru" waves a magic wand and instantly things are right. As with a person getting their own head into shape, generating marketing results is about persistent hard work.
And the marketing results we want are furthering the ideas of Dr Glasser, with an ultimate result of more people doing Choice Theory training.
And that can't be a bad thing.