External Control Language

Becoming aware of our language is an important part of learning to implement Choice Theory in our lives. We are immersed in a world where people use blaming and threatening language to get what they want.  We often unconsciously use language that comes from external control.   

Some of the words we use out of habit include the following.

Made me  

"She made me angry"  "It makes me..."

Katy Perry's song "The One That Got Away" has a chorus that says

And in another life, I would make you stay, 
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away


In essence we cannot make someone do something that they don't want to do

Have to     

 "Firstly you have to ..."   "He has to be..." 

Sarah Mclachlan in her song “Do What You Have To Do” says

I know I can't be with you, 
 I do what I have to do

We are surrounded by external control language.  Bringing to a conscious level what we are saying is the first step eliminating these words from our vocabulary.

Bob Sullo

Jill Bayly sent this email to her colleagues at TAFE in Queensland about her attendance at the workshop Bob Sullo presented on the Gold Coast this week.

I went along to a teacher’s workshop yesterday to listen to a man from the U.S. named Bob Sullo.This was an interesting workshop where I once again connected with the work of William Glasser. Bob is a psychologist, G.O. and student counsellor and works mainly out of the William Glasser Institute U.S.

It was refreshing to revisit skills whereby teachers encourage and inspire students to engage in their learning simply by participation and interaction with their teacher.

I resonated with the idea that we do indeed teach the whole student, both morally and academically and that each and every person working within an education setting plays an enormous part in supporting that student to reach their potential.

Bob spent some time speaking about developing what he called a ‘shared vision.’ I thought this idea was a great metaphor for both our work and with the journey we frequently share with students and staff here at GCIT.

Bob shared with the group his belief as to how the ‘reward of learning is feeling good’ and reminded us to check in regularly with ourselves asking questions such as:

‘What sort of teacher/counsellor/ manager do I want to be?’ 

“And what would the teacher/ counsellor/ manager I want to be.. do in a situation such as this?”

Nothing we haven’t heard or seen before, however as practitioners it can be rewarding to reconnect with the viewpoints that often work to make our hearts sing and our clients happy.