External Control Language

Becoming aware of our language is an important part of learning to implement Choice Theory in our lives. We are immersed in a world where people use blaming and threatening language to get what they want.  We often unconsciously use language that comes from external control.   

Some of the words we use out of habit include the following.

Made me  

"She made me angry"  "It makes me..."

Katy Perry's song "The One That Got Away" has a chorus that says

And in another life, I would make you stay, 
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away


In essence we cannot make someone do something that they don't want to do

Have to     

 "Firstly you have to ..."   "He has to be..." 

Sarah Mclachlan in her song “Do What You Have To Do” says

I know I can't be with you, 
 I do what I have to do

We are surrounded by external control language.  Bringing to a conscious level what we are saying is the first step eliminating these words from our vocabulary.

Tenacity and Commitment

"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground."  Mary Kay Morrison

This quote sparked thoughts about the 80 year old oak tree that grows in my New Zealand garden. Its tenacity and commitment resulted in a huge tree with a beautiful thick trunk, sturdy branches and tens of thousands of leaves, all of which come down in the autumn.  One branch has grown around the thick rope of the child's swing that has been there for many years.

The genetic instruction of the acorn was to grow, reaching upwards and downwards, using the soil, sun, air and rain to ensure that the tree survived.

We don't have genetic instructions to grow a trunk or branches or leaves.  Our genetic instructions are to meet the needs of survival, belonging, power, freedom and fun.  

We choose behaviours to get what we want which is aimed at meeting those needs on a daily basis.  Our soil, sun, air and rain is the nourishment we need in our lives to continue to grow as people.  

In classrooms, that nourishment is vital for the growth of each child to blossom.  In schools where internal control psychology is the basis for all decisions, the nourishment is evident.  


Some schools have been working to implement the ideas of Choice Theory for a long time.  Sunshine Beach State School in Queensland, Australia began its journey 20 years ago.  Koraunui School in New Zealand has been training people in Choice Theory and its applications for more than ten years. It takes tenacity and commitment for a school to continue on this pathway.  

Sometimes the climate produced by the governing bodies does little to enable schools to pursue with the tenacity and commitment needed to match their own quality world pictures. Seemingly endless barriers are put in the way of quality, and schools struggle to keep up with barrages of change. 

It will be the ones that hold their ground that will win through and provide the sort of education that all children need and deserve.  




Happy Australia Day

I was interested to hear this morning that Geoffrey Rush had been made the Australian of the Year. A very worthy recipient for such an honour. A quick look at the media and a survey in one of Sydney's papers showed that not everyone agreed.

When he was interviewed he said he was humbled by the award.  He spoke about being in the company such amazing people - the other nominees- who were passionate about what they were doing and how he was changing his perception of what it is to be Australian.  As we know, more knowledge - from significant others can often change perception.

His hope as Australian of the Year is to bring about a shift in perception about social issues through the arts.  He particularly wanted to inspire young audiences.

I got to thinking how it would be to mingle with these people.  They all have a quality world and have different pictures and yet they have similarities.  As we believe that all motivation is from our quality world pictures and how we attempt to live our lives to get what we want, to meet one or more of our basic needs  of Survival, Belonging, Power, Freedom and Fun.

Geoffrey Rush said that his chief drive was 'a professional calling'.  Perhaps this could describe what other nominees thought about what they do.  Perhaps the sense of a professional calling is about meeting all of the needs by what we do.  Perhaps it is about the values we hold as people who can make a difference for our fellow human beings.

Making the difference

A young mum who, with her husband had taken over the family farm, put in a nutshell the difference between schools that adapt the philosophy of internal motivation versus external motivation.    

She had grown up on the farm and was used to the daily tasks of farming. 

She said “It is so different now, being a farmer instead of a teenager on the farm.  When I was growing up I just did what dad told me to do.  Now I have the responsibility of the decisions and I love it.”

This is the essence of the Glasser Quality School classroom.  In a school where external motivation is used, the students do (sometimes) what the teacher tells them to do.  In a school based on internal motivation the students take responsibility for their choices and do the work because it adds quality to their lives. 

As teachers, if we make all the decisions and always tell students what to do, they do not develop the sense of ownership and joy in learning that students attending a Glasser Quality School do.

In the daily tasks on a large farm, the owners would constantly be self-evaluating; the best way to achieve the desired results; the outcomes of their work; the amount that they have achieved and the work still to be done.  

These minute-by-minute decisions make the difference between failing and succeeding both on the farm and in the classroom. 

Happiness

A fascinating study of 180 School Sisters of Notre Dame nuns, all born before 1919 has some interesting findings.  In his book “The Happiness Advantage” Shawn Achor describes the process that researchers used to track the positive emotional diary writings over 50 years.  The nuns who had a high level of positivity lived ten years longer than the ones who were negative.  By age 85, 90% of the “happy” nuns were still alive as compared with 34% of the least happy nuns.  This is pretty convincing evidence of the need to maintain a positive way of being in the world. If the nuns were all faced with the same life choices, it would be interesting to ponder why some chose to happiness over unhappiness.

We know that the feelings feed into the physiology and that illness often results if there are prolonged negative feelings. Helping people understand Choice Theory and by using Reality Therapy with people in need we can help them to live a more balanced life, and remain healthier and happier.    

Spreading the word - telling people about Choice Theory

Do you get asked "What is Choice Theory?"  An elevator speech is that 30 seconds you have when people ask that question.

A great elevator speech does four things: 

1. It sets out the problem
2. It sets out the opportunity
3. It sets out how the training is going to solve that in a way that's valuable to customers
4. It inspires the listener

How does this sound?

• We have a world that is beset with violence, break down of families, mentally ill people, jails full to overflowing
• Learning Choice Theory has an answer to these huge issues.  Even if we were able to eliminate just one of these areas, society would be a better place for everyone.  
• We teach people that we need to recognise that we can only control ourselves.  The issues are really all about trying to control others.  Violence is trying to control others; break downs in families are the result of one person in the marriage trying to control another.  Mentally ill people are largely people who have become disconnected from those who are important to them and people are often incarcerated because they tried to use force to control another person. Choice Theory teaches us ways to get what we want in a way that does not stop others from getting what they want.
• Wouldn't it be a wonderful place if we were able to eliminate these major concerns in society.  Then the only thing we would need to solve is the poverty of many because of the greed of a few.

Try this for yourself in your area of using Choice Theory and its applications.

Bob Sullo

Jill Bayly sent this email to her colleagues at TAFE in Queensland about her attendance at the workshop Bob Sullo presented on the Gold Coast this week.

I went along to a teacher’s workshop yesterday to listen to a man from the U.S. named Bob Sullo.This was an interesting workshop where I once again connected with the work of William Glasser. Bob is a psychologist, G.O. and student counsellor and works mainly out of the William Glasser Institute U.S.

It was refreshing to revisit skills whereby teachers encourage and inspire students to engage in their learning simply by participation and interaction with their teacher.

I resonated with the idea that we do indeed teach the whole student, both morally and academically and that each and every person working within an education setting plays an enormous part in supporting that student to reach their potential.

Bob spent some time speaking about developing what he called a ‘shared vision.’ I thought this idea was a great metaphor for both our work and with the journey we frequently share with students and staff here at GCIT.

Bob shared with the group his belief as to how the ‘reward of learning is feeling good’ and reminded us to check in regularly with ourselves asking questions such as:

‘What sort of teacher/counsellor/ manager do I want to be?’ 

“And what would the teacher/ counsellor/ manager I want to be.. do in a situation such as this?”

Nothing we haven’t heard or seen before, however as practitioners it can be rewarding to reconnect with the viewpoints that often work to make our hearts sing and our clients happy.