Woodenbong ??

Where is Woodenbong?  I did not know until two days ago.  I drove out from the Gold Coast about two hours and juddered across the border into New South Wales.  I called into the local pub and asked the person behind the bar if this was the only hotel in town. He smiled and said yes.  The town with its outlying community has a small population of about 600.

Dorothy Devine and I were booked in for the night to begin work on a Basic Intensive Training with staff at the local school the next day.

The school was a mere 100 metres from the pub and we were greeted by the Deputy Principal who opened up our training room.  People began to arrive and we were underway.

Our time with the staff was full of fun and laughter.  Stories were shared, aha moments were evident, deep listening practised and questions were asked, all leading to a very needs satisfying day.  Work will continue between sessions through a Blog called Woodenbong BIT.

Now I know a little more about Woodenbong and some of its residents and I really warmed to both.

CT and Caring for the Aged

Recently my 84 year old mother has been experiencing severe pain due to her oesteo arthritis. She had asked me to be her Medical Power of Attorney. Accordingly, I have been accompanying her to her many medical appointments and assessments. Life has changed dramatically for Mum - no longer able to catch the bus to shop on her own, gardening (one of her favourite pastimes) has become almost impossible and keeping the house clean (in case someone comes!). She felt like she was losing her independence and was making statements like " they told me I'm not allowed to catch the bus anymore". So I have been using Choice Theory to help Mum regain some of the "self power" she felt she had lost by asking her questions...... "can you walk to the bus, Mum?" " No, dear". "What's stopping you from walking to the bus?" "My back......it's my body, it's wearing out" "Ok, Mum, so you can't walk to the bus on you own but you can still go shopping, just differently. There's the Council volunteer group, there's half price cab's that we have organised or there are family members who can take you".

Mum was suffering anxiety/panic attacks, we believe as a reaction to very strong pain medication. To assist her to manage these attacks I would sit calmly with her and breathe and talk about a "happy" place. She has learned very quickly that she "is in control of the remote" and can choose to change the picture in her head.

Some members of the family had become increasingly concerned with Mum's doctor (myself included) but how do you get an 84 year old, loyal through and through, to change her doctor?You sow seeds, give her information and let her make the choice herself. This week Mum decided to see another Dr - for a second opinion - even after her "old" Dr phoned her asking for her to see him.

I am soo proud of Mum and it goes to show that you are NEVER too OLD to learn. You can teach an old dog new tricks!

What a Day!

Sometimes you just have one of those days! this is how it went:

Had to get up at 4am for a 6.10 flight to Adelaide.

Couldn't find remote control for garage door, backed into son's car in driveway.

Arrive at airport, just miss bus from long term parking area to terminal.

Run all the way thru terminal to LAST boarding gate - FLIGHT CLOSED!!!!

What do I do: start crying, tantruming - will it change anything? NO!

What I do is - stand and take stock of my situation, THINK, walk all the way back thru terminal, out thru security, back to service desk. Book later flight (3 hours later!!!), pay money, then back thru security, buy a chai latte, sit down, BREATHE slowly, gather myself, send a dozen smss and procede to prepare myself for today's meeting and relax......

Without Choice Theory I would have cried, angered, roared at the check-in chick, argued at the service desk. My blood pressure would have been sky high and I would have been stressing about being late for the meeting. And what would have changed - NOTHING. My situation would have been exactly the same - stuck at the airport, waiting for the next flight.

THANK YOU Choice Theory for giving me the strategies to cope with whatever is thrown my way.

NOTE: Later flight was an hour late leaving!!!

Growing with Choice Theory

The following is a growth report submitted by a Basic Practicum participant.  It outlines the growth experienced as a result of the Basic Week and Basic Practicum.

Before Choice Theory, I used to believe that what others did or said was the cause of my hurt and that I could do little about this.  Since doing the Choice Theory workshop and reading several books by William Glasser, I now see this differently.   

Today, I am more inclined to recognize that I am not a victim of another or a situation, and therefore, tend to take responsibility for my perception and for the emotions I experience and then the action I choose in response.  

What I have learned from Choice Theory is that I perceive the real world through my perceptual filters (made up of sensory, total knowledge and value systems) I then compare my quality world with my perceived world, if they match then I experience feelings of satisfaction, happiness, contentment  etc. and am not motivated to change, this is because my needs and wants are being satisfied.   

Should my perceived world not match my quality world, then I have an urge to “behave” in an attempt to get my needs/wants satisfied.  My behavior is made up of four components, feeling, physiology, thinking and acting and I can be doing all four or, if I am spinning my wheels, I am stuck in feeling and need to take action in order to change the feeling.  By learning that this is how the brain works, I have been able to achieve this growth.

Bob Sullo

Jill Bayly sent this email to her colleagues at TAFE in Queensland about her attendance at the workshop Bob Sullo presented on the Gold Coast this week.

I went along to a teacher’s workshop yesterday to listen to a man from the U.S. named Bob Sullo.This was an interesting workshop where I once again connected with the work of William Glasser. Bob is a psychologist, G.O. and student counsellor and works mainly out of the William Glasser Institute U.S.

It was refreshing to revisit skills whereby teachers encourage and inspire students to engage in their learning simply by participation and interaction with their teacher.

I resonated with the idea that we do indeed teach the whole student, both morally and academically and that each and every person working within an education setting plays an enormous part in supporting that student to reach their potential.

Bob spent some time speaking about developing what he called a ‘shared vision.’ I thought this idea was a great metaphor for both our work and with the journey we frequently share with students and staff here at GCIT.

Bob shared with the group his belief as to how the ‘reward of learning is feeling good’ and reminded us to check in regularly with ourselves asking questions such as:

‘What sort of teacher/counsellor/ manager do I want to be?’ 

“And what would the teacher/ counsellor/ manager I want to be.. do in a situation such as this?”

Nothing we haven’t heard or seen before, however as practitioners it can be rewarding to reconnect with the viewpoints that often work to make our hearts sing and our clients happy.

Twelve Hours Sleep

Following a Counselling with Choice Theory session recently, a woman who had been in great pain, slept well for the first time since her accident six months ago.

A three meter fall from a ladder had left her in severe pain with a compression fracture of her L1.  This required her to wear a brace she calls "Lady Gaga".  The fall also set off neuro pain from a previous surgery to remove a tumour.

The accident and resulting pain was impacting on her relationships with family and her husband.  Others wanted to give her advice, telling her what to do.  Her husband was frustrated and angry at the length of time it was taking her to function as she was able to before the accident.

Her medical team, while supportive, was unable to give her pain relief that she felt comfortable with.

 She was feeling unsupported, alone and worthless.

During the counselling session she was able to identify a plan using a metaphor.

She and her husband had owned a yacht and leaving the mooring each Friday evening and sailing up the Broadwater was a refuge for her from an extremely busy work life.

Her plan was to ‘take her sails out of the wind’ when she was faced with criticism from others and to ‘tack away’.

She re-created a strong image of herself in charge of the yacht, hand on the tiller and the wind on her face. The energy shift and the change in thinking when discussing this image was noticeable.

With this plan in place she was able to relax enough to sleep.

A Change in Behaviour

One aspect in which I have recognized evident changes is how I relate to other people. Often I believed that when I strongly supported something my job and duty were to convince others to do the same. And that was all out of best intentions, I swear. Oh goodness, how hard that job was and somehow always resulted in frustration.  Now that I know more about external control, everything makes so much more sense.  How liberating it is to know that no, it is not possible to make others change pictures in their quality worlds, and at times my job and responsibility is to provide information. How liberating that is. Not that I feel less responsible, because the focus is on making sure that the best possible information is provided. However, at the end of the day, the choice and the responsibility for making that choice is somebody else’s.

I am taking some baby steps in this direction, but I certainly feel much more relaxed when I go to meetings for example. I am more and more aware that even though some people may make choices that are not compatible with my beliefs, does not mean that they are bad choices and certainly it does not mean that I fail as a person because they are not commensurate with mine.  

Dijana Sahlibasich, Basic Practicum participant 2010-11