Showing posts with label internal control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internal control. Show all posts

Friday, February 4, 2011

Twelve Hours Sleep

Following a Counselling with Choice Theory session recently, a woman who had been in great pain, slept well for the first time since her accident six months ago.

A three meter fall from a ladder had left her in severe pain with a compression fracture of her L1.  This required her to wear a brace she calls "Lady Gaga".  The fall also set off neuro pain from a previous surgery to remove a tumour.

The accident and resulting pain was impacting on her relationships with family and her husband.  Others wanted to give her advice, telling her what to do.  Her husband was frustrated and angry at the length of time it was taking her to function as she was able to before the accident.

Her medical team, while supportive, was unable to give her pain relief that she felt comfortable with.

 She was feeling unsupported, alone and worthless.

During the counselling session she was able to identify a plan using a metaphor.

She and her husband had owned a yacht and leaving the mooring each Friday evening and sailing up the Broadwater was a refuge for her from an extremely busy work life.

Her plan was to ‘take her sails out of the wind’ when she was faced with criticism from others and to ‘tack away’.

She re-created a strong image of herself in charge of the yacht, hand on the tiller and the wind on her face. The energy shift and the change in thinking when discussing this image was noticeable.

With this plan in place she was able to relax enough to sleep.

Monday, January 31, 2011

A Change in Behaviour


One aspect in which I have recognized evident changes is how I relate to other people. Often I believed that when I strongly supported something my job and duty were to convince others to do the same. And that was all out of best intentions, I swear. Oh goodness, how hard that job was and somehow always resulted in frustration.  Now that I know more about external control, everything makes so much more sense.  How liberating it is to know that no, it is not possible to make others change pictures in their quality worlds, and at times my job and responsibility is to provide information. How liberating that is. Not that I feel less responsible, because the focus is on making sure that the best possible information is provided. However, at the end of the day, the choice and the responsibility for making that choice is somebody else’s.
I am taking some baby steps in this direction, but I certainly feel much more relaxed when I go to meetings for example. I am more and more aware that even though some people may make choices that are not compatible with my beliefs, does not mean that they are bad choices and certainly it does not mean that I fail as a person because they are not commensurate with mine.  

Dijana Sahlibasich, Basic Practicum participant 2010-11